“Do you think we should have a child together?” The couple looked at each other and then back at me.
I let out a hearty chuckle from the depth of my belly. I almost felt like Santa Claus… partly because of the laughter, and partly because I felt like they were asking me to grant their wish. Or at least give them my blessing.
This all started because I was feeling lonely. Isolated. And not really “helpful” to anyone. I wanted to connect with people and remember how good it feels to help.
Maybe I should talk to strangers.
It was one of those thoughts that we tend to dismiss. It’s weird. It’s uncomfortable. What will people think of me? Eh, fuck it. If nothing else, it will make for a good story.
I made up a cardboard sign that said “Advice 25 cents” and walked around the streets of my hometown.
I was expecting to speak with other people walking around the city – and for the most part I did. But while I was standing on a street corner – afternoon sun warming my face – a midsize SUV jerked out of its lane and firmly braked beside me.
The driver leaned across his girlfriend’s lap as he asked the question. He ensured to make eye contact with me as he rolled down the passenger side window. “Do you think we should have a child together?”
What a way to break the ice.
Once I regained control of my facial muscles, I asked back to them, “do you want to have a child together?”
“I do, but she doesn’t,” he said, nodding to his girlfriend.
“Why not?” I asked her.
“Because we’re not really stable right now financially.”
“I got that job lined up, babe,” he insisted. “You know I –” he cut himself off. He knew this wasn’t the time or place to get into that discussion. He turned to me for a resolution.
This is a lot of responsibility for someone I’ve only known ten seconds, I thought. But I couldn’t hold back my smile. Heck, why would I want to? The joy came from a place inside me that never gets tired, never gets sick, never gets cold or lonely or dark.
I asked them, “do you have any kids now?”
“Yup." He replied. "I have two from a previous relationship.”
“And so do I,” she said, “I have two from before I met him.”
“Do you regret having children?” I asked openly to both of them.
“No way” “I love them” “They’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” They both spoke praises over top each other, almost competing at who could say the nicer thing. Kids were clearly a force for good in their lives.
I smiled even wider. A warm feeling of knowing their answer came over me. It was just a question of whether they would feel it too. I chose not to speak. I pursed my lips and raised my eyebrows as if to signal, ‘huh, listen to that… sounds like you just said everything there is to say.’
Their eyes began to sparkle like Hollywood movie stars. The love in their eyes was so pure. So boundless. So contagious. They clearly had their answer.
The man leaned forward and handed me a quarter out the window. “Thanks man,” he said, giving me a fist bump. “You’re welcome,” I replied. Then he hit the gas and drove out of sight. I wouldn’t be surprised if they conceived a child together in the nearest parking lot.
That was over 5 years ago. I’d like to think there’s a little boy or girl out there – somewhere – who just celebrated their 4th birthday because of what happened that day. Two people, independently, decided to talk to a stranger. They only spoke for about a minute, but it positively changed their lives.
You could argue that it’s just a fun curiosity. You could say that it’s your “cosmic responsibility.” You could even say that it has a tremendous asymmetric payoff distribution skewed to the up-side.
Please, do us all a favor; talk to strangers.
Ha ha, your subtitle made me laugh out loud. This is an awesome story! Thank you for sharing it.
What an awesome story! (And so well constructed!)